Sunday, September 6, 2015

Nintendo? More like Nintendon't. Heh, heh, 80s joke. (Wii Play review)

Well this was going to happen sooner or later, I was gonna have to review some of the Wii's "Wii" titles, so why not start with one that is stupid. Today I'm reviewing Wii Play.



The Story:

There is none. Moving on.

The Gameplay:

Wii play is divided into Nine mini games, which I will now go over.

Shooting Range:

In this game you and a friend point your wii remote at the screen and shoot at targets, birds, and UFOs. Pretty much all it is, is Duck hunt but multiplayer.


 Its fun for a few minutes, but soon your going to want to move on to one of the other games.

Find Mii:

In this game you have to find the a Mii based on the goal given before the level. You are given a time limit for the whole game, but every time you beat a level it adds five seconds to it.


Oh man could this be anymore boring? Its like I spy but with a timer. I don't like this one very much.

Table Tennis:

Does there have to be a game of Tennis in almost every "Wii" game? Since there is you would think that this would involve you hitting the ball with the wii remote, but nope. In this version of Table Tennis you just sort of move your wii remote to block the ball, but you can't actually put any force behind your swing so this game gets pretty old fast.


Pose Mii:

What is this? It's so bad. You have to switch your Mii's pose, and get him/her to fit into the bubbles before they reach the bottom of the screen.


How is this considered a game? The only fun you will have out of this one is if you force someone you hate to play it.

LASER Hockey:

It's a cross between pong and air hockey, but with LASER neon lights. You can turn your shots by how you have the Wii remote tilted, and I got to say I like it.


This is one game that I can sit down with a friend and play, and have a good time doing so.


Fishing:

Now I know this is just a fishing mini game, and I'm good at video games, but this is hard! More than that it's not that fun. And why are the fish paper cut outs? But you know what bugs me? I've actually gotten good at this one, no joke!


So even though it's terrible and boring, I can beat any of my friends at Fishing.

Billiards:

Its the nine ball version of Pool. The controls are a little hard to get used to, but once you do this one is really fun, and its challenging.


Charge!:

So your on a cow trying to run over all the scarecrows, and make it back to the barnyard before the time runs out.


This one can be fun, but the problem is the controls. You have to hold the wii remote sideways, and in order to go fast you have to tilt it forward, but to turn you tilt it sideways. And its really hard to do one after the other, it seems like you have to stop, wait a few seconds, and then turn. This really ruins the game.

Tanks!:

Okay, now we are talking. This is the last game in the set, and its by far the best. In Tanks! you and a friend battle your way through armies of tanks.


In single player you only have a certain number of lives, but in multiplayer once you both die its all over. To control your tank you use the nunchuck to move, and to shoot you point the wii remote at the screen and push the B button. You also have the option to plant landmines that will go off after a few seconds, or once they are shot. Whats cool about Tanks! is the amount of strategy there is in the game. Your shells bounce of the walls, and you only can only shoot five at a time. But you also use your shells to stop the shells of the enemy so you don't get blow to bits.


Each level also has obstacles, and different types of enemy tanks that do different things. And it gets really hard later on because some tanks shoot their shell's faster, and there are some that shoot faster and their shell's bounce. Tanks! is the best game of this collection, its addicting, fun, and it will pound you into the ground!

Music and Presentation:

This is the part that is hard. None of the games really have noteworthy music or visuals. I mean the Pose Mii game uses generic photos for its background, kind of like the ones you would see as the default on a new computer.


I guess Tanks! wants to make us think its all taking place on are bedroom floor, but it just comes of as bland and very, very brown.


And Charge! is going of this whole yarn and patchwork motif, but its just meh.


I honestly don't remember any of the music from this game.

The Verdict and Final Thoughts:

Wii Play is a collection of games that don't really fit together, or merit being played for more than ten minutes. Its like they let one talented design the few stand out games like Tanks! or Laser hockey, and let unqualified people design the others. Because of that you might just rent this game. And please if you do buy this make sure that it only costs five dollars or less.

I'm giving Wii play six out of ten stars. Its "Only okay."

THEY ARE STARING AT ME!

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